I realize that the footprints of my life, moments of joy and failure, laughter and grief, do not accumulate in stuff, that I carry them within me - and yet I still feel more and more lately that I should have lived larger, fuller, braver, that I let so many moments pass me by. I have always had this prissy tendency to be small and safe and tidy (my ballet teachers will emphatically agree). But the life - that colorful, heartfelt, dauntless kind of living - lies in the chances, the messes, the mistakes. Looking back, I regret very few things I did, and countless more I didn't do.
I wish I had danced my heart out at that audition, I wish I had kissed that boy, I wish I had bought that plane ticket and ran off to Europe alone, I wish I had walked away, I wish I had come home...
And now: I want to take leaps, make scenes, love with abandon, act on impulse - much, much more than I have so far. I want to fill this room with Italian artwork, tattered love letters, sand-filled seashells, concert t-shirts, stamped passports. I want to get carried away. I'm sure I will leave messes and mistakes in my wake, but they'll be all tangled up with surprises and road trips and sunsets and kisses - they'll be so worth it.
"Men who never get carried away should be." - Malcolm Forbes
I'm printing this out and putting it on my wall....
ReplyDelete<3 to you, Megs
DeleteIt's never too late to travel. I'd highly advise doing some sort of trip sooner than later. It will give you a new perspective on life and possibly even help to get over things. When you see the world and other cultures it just kind of makes you think about whats important. If you have no one to go with you could look into contiki as those are great for solo traveling.
ReplyDeleteI'm definitely going to try to go on a trip as soon as I can afford it, Danny. I am saving up right now and practicing my Italian lessons. :) And thanks for the tip on Contiki - I didn't realize they had any sort of solo travel thing, but I think that would be awesome!!!
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